Help Me Jesus…

Tristin and Teresa

In the car, so close to home – yet so far away. It’s that moment that many I’ve talked to have experienced – that moment when your stomach, slightly upset, feeling the bowels working overtime…you know, that feeling that you never want?

Here I was nowhere close to a restroom. Experiencing that butt clenching, cold sweat, nausea induced moment in which control ceases to exist.

Groaning in great discomfort while fearfully driving, “Oh Jesus, help me Jesus…” all the while my daughter laughed hysterically; more so at the look on my face as I cried out to Jesus for help.  Begging her to stop laughing as she was making me laugh so hard while I painfully laughed while her giggle caused the muscles to give way…turning left into the neighborhood, my daughter’s laughter increased only causing what I feared the most to come to pass – what was about to happen if I didn’t jump out of my car when suddenly I lost all control, now drenched in one of my favorite pair of jeans – it was over!

I screamed, “Help! I pooped!” My daughter screamed, “No you didn’t! Mom! Noooooo!” When suddenly you could hear her slowly sniff as the scent seemingly tangibly hit her and that was when she suddenly screamed, “NOOOOOO! Ahhhhhhhhhh! Mom! Mom! Mom! You pooped…NOOOOOO!”

I’ll never forget that day.  However more than anything…I’m going to remember that this hilariously, unfortunate, true life scenario reminds me of the moments in life when we relinquish control of what is right and suddenly we find ourselves sitting in the middle of a bunch of “crap”!  In life, crap happens – but it doesn’t mean we have to allow our “happenings” to reflect the crap; instead we can allow the washing of God’s Word to clean us up!

Nooooo!!!

Delicious food – you know the meal that you hope lasts for an eternity – yet it disappears so quickly as you shovel it in as though being timed in a food eating contest and unless someone filmed your eating habit – you wouldn’t think twice about it – ha!

So here we were enjoying delicious food and time together with my daughter as well as Chris and Hadasha.

 

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Cody, Chris. Joy of New Beginnings. 2016. Instagram, Texas @chriscodyyy

 

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Time escaped us when we realized the restaurant was closing for the evening. Upon leaving, we walked out together sharing a hilarious story. Meanwhile, in the parking lot, hovered by the star lit sky –  walking each other to our vehicles – when the inevitable moment happened…I can’t even tell you that the story being shared was even that funny – yet it was their reaction to the story that caused this inner tickling to set off the laughter that was unstoppable – laughing with everything in and out of me got me laughing even harder when that horrific feeling of knowing it was coming forth with full force, I screamed, “Stop talking! Nooooo! Helllllp!” As they screamed, “Nooooooo! Don’t peeeeee…” that is when the levy broke, the stream sounded and my bladder was unstoppable as I stood there in my adorable outfit on the slanted blacktop when the geyser gushed forth all the while watching the look on their faces as they watched in horror as my pee was traveling at warped speeds toward them.  What  made it far worse was to see them running from the stream as hopeless laughter caused my bladder to be  completely emptied.  Suddenly, everyone’s screaming turned to stunned silence as they had only heard the stories – but this time they experienced the horror first hand.

As I laugh thinking back on that evening – I LOVE THE humor of God as I just read, “Anyone who believes in Me may come and drink! For the Scriptures declare, “Rivers of living water will flow from his heart…” (John 7:38) – Can you hear me giggling?

May you experience JOY that overflows and travels at warped speeds toward you that overwhelms you – allowing it to overflow on others causing strength to annihilate your every part even if your laughter is stronger than your bladder…

 

Relief…ha!

Tristin and Teresa

Uncontrollable laughter as the six of us were hootin’ and hollerin’ right smack in the middle of Chili’s.  Our server Vickie was fun and witty as our random outbursts of celebration over our friend’s birthdays didn’t phase her a bit.

It was about two years ago when this memorable moment took place. My friend had plans to go to Chili’s, and I thought it was the one closest to our house, but being that she needed to be somewhere afterwards she realized it would be better to go to a different location other than the one we normally frequented.

Meanwhile as we came together, it was no surprise that our time with one another caused the laughter to “spill over” as we attempted to collaborate with our singing efforts to the “Happy birthday” song.  Now in our obvious song choice, we were going to do so in our well mastered accents…ha! So it went like this, I was going to sing in a Korean accent, while Jacob sung in his well mastered Russian accent, Patty preparing to sing in an Irish accent, as Kelsey would do so in a British one while Paula prepared to sing with a Spanish accent and my daughter “Paris” randomly choosing to sing in what she would imitate as how a “Hillbilly” would sing.  As soon as we were about to ‘perform”, my daughter had just bitten into a southwest egg roll as she turned to me and smiled and right there in front of me stared a black bean as it had attached to her front tooth as we were about to sing.

Already tickled, there it was…the moment I lost it – and now it was to the point of no return as none other than the floodgates of my bladder burst forth and my dignity was swept away…it was over…not only was I soaked, but Jacob, Patty’s 17 year old son  was sitting next to me and somehow heard the subtle stream as his eyes became as big as saucers. Just thinking of that moment now causes me to laugh out loud as he looked at me with fear of what just may have happened was confirmed as he slowly looked down on the ground underneath the table to find a large puddle and in disbelief he exclaimed, “No! You peed!”  And at this point I couldn’t breathe as I still had the image of Trissy’s smile combined with his disbelief as well as the whole table of people in utter shock as they also began to slowly look underneath the table to find the evidence that “Laughing Mom” was in their presence.

At this point it was so many embarrassing thoughts rushing through my mind.  As timing would have it, Vickie our server approached the table finding none other than the mess I made and yet was so sweet as I had to break it to her what had just taken place, when she genuinely and so kindly offered to clean it up.  Meanwhile in sheer panic, I said, “NO! I’m so sorry, I don’t want you touching my mess, all I ask is if you could please bring me a towel and spray so I can spray the booth down and clean up the floor…”  After her incredible assistance we knew we couldn’t just leave a good tip – but we needed to leave a memorable one.

In that moment as the check was paid, we all contributed to the tip to ensure our server had well over than what she expected along with making it an opportunity as an outreach to give her one of our REACH Church cards along with finding a pen to leave with her! We thought for sure we’d never see her again when that next Sunday to our surprise there she was along with her precious family; with her husband and two children.

Of course we thought that was the end of the story until about nine months later our church did several videos of different people’s testimonies.  The testimonies were on how God had touched their lives through our church family. While watching I saw a young man whom I recognized, realizing it was none other than Vickie’s husband – as I heard his story, tears streamed down my face as we had no idea that the birthday celebration at that particular Chili’s was going to usher in with joy and celebration this young woman’s husband into the Kingdom of God. To hear his brief yet “telling” testimony was God revealing His goodness on this young man and his family. Watching the video, we were dumbfounded to realize Vickie’s husband had been an atheist, while still searching for truth, he walked into REACH Church and wanted more as he heard TRUTH being taught and proclaimed through our Pastor.

To look back on the grace of God – even through a messy, embarrassing moment – God would cause it to reveal His glory on a spirit of a young man that needed to be reconciled back to The Father.

The moral of this story?  We get to be “mess”engers of God’s joy – causing relief in more ways than we could ever imagine!!

Lesson In A Test…

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Screaming laughter, violent joy and the uncontainable ability to remain dignified beyond the “vanishing point” of comprehension!

Yes. I did it yet again.

So here we were, it was that moment in which we took the ‘perspective’ challenge. There it was – the ‘classroom’ moment. That home schooling moment in which I could truly make it a teaching one.  It was that challenge for myself to exercise, with my daughter, the ability to not just see this spelling test as a dumb test or a needless “chore”  or even seeing through the hopeless, mundane perspective of “Eeyore”, instead this spelling test was going to be seen and recognized as an opportunity for excitement in learning what my daughter already knew and where improvement was needed.

Well that is when “drama mama” came forth – the “over acting”, “over emphasizing” and the “ever changing” characters came running to the service of my mind and out of my mouth with every spelling word given. Suddenly the voice inflections triggered the joy switch within me as I began to helplessly laugh – all the while my daughter, staring at me with great concern as though you could interpret her apprehensive look as saying, “Help! My mother has lost it!”  The look of concern changed to her laughing hysterically with that contagious giggle, tickling me beyond what I could handle as the levies of my bladder burst forth like a violent, rushing river and with great force the ‘waters’ raged through and over the cliffs into the gushing waterfall!

Silence fell as the atmosphere seemed to be blanketed with the reality of “Did I really pee?” The puddle of evidence was our giggling reminder of having a little too much fun at my own expense.

Indeed the sobering moment of needing to clean up and change did not wipe away the learning lesson.  Although it was necessary to clean up, shower and change – it was when the realization of changing perspective of how we looked at a test, cleaned up our fears of how we perceived them.

Needless to say, the great lesson learned in the classroom was being able to utilize the gift of laughter as a weapon to tear down the fears of shame in being fearful of “getting things wrong” and just allowing it to be a teaching opportunity of what we ‘get’ to improve with God’s great help! Having joy in the journey!

Lose Yourself…

Have you experienced those moments when you’re willing to lose yourself because of something you are incredibly passionate about?  Whether you have the resources or not, you just want to get the message out?

So let me start by sharing Innocence Thriving, it is an awareness group that my daughter started a couple years ago to help with the fight against human trafficking; giving tips to kids and adults on simple ways to be safe online, when you’re out and about and remembering to pay attention to your surroundings.

Anyways, with that, let me take you to the scene.  There we were in our kitchen.  We put up the amateur backdrop made of gift wrap paper and moved the kitchen stool so I could sit there to film my daughter’s awareness video for @parisittv Youtube channel.  Holding on to my daughter’s iPad as a video camera, we were getting ready to film a quick video to update her followers.  With our creative, yet low budget ways, due to not having a teleprompter to read her script, we came up with an alternative.  Are you ready?  It was none other than, “Let’s use my forehead!”  Yep!  There it was, mom’s novel idea – so I went to my computer, typed out what Paris would say, printed the script out in large font and then strategically taped it to my forehead.

Yes! That’s what we did!

So again, there we were, I had the iPad in hand, paper on my forehead and nodding to signal, “Action!”  Paris was was doing a fantastic job when suddenly the paper on my forehead was creeping slowly down my face as the tape was definitely losing it’s adhesive stick.  In that moment, as she was almost finished, this random thought entered my head of what I may have looked like – as the paper was now in my eyes and suddenly my imagination got the best of me – I snorted in laughter as she was almost finished, so close to her wrapping up, and that was when her mom, yes me, with little dignity, burst out into raging laughter from the depths of my belly and you got it – right there as the video was still going, camera shaking violently coupled with that hysterical silent yet violent laughter I lost it – every drop of pee that is.

(There’s the evidence below…we took a still photo from the video so you could see that was for real)

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O goodness…just thinking of that moment, trying my best to hold it in only made it worse. Of course we eventually finished the two and half minute video after I cleaned myself up and uploaded the video as though nothing ever happened.

Sighing and shaking my head with a little giggle – as I shared my transparent ‘pee’ entry into my diary – have you done something like this?  If so, please share away so we can laugh even more!  Would love to hear your story…